A LIFE WELL LIVED
A life well lived
Do you ever look at the past and laugh at how you can now see it all lines up?
Or maybe you look back with regret?
When I was about 14 years old, I was in NYC for the first time with my parents. I remember watching a movie that imprinted itself in a way that stressed me out. It was the Thorn Birds, and the scene that made me pause was when Ralph finds out that Meggie’s son Dane is actually his and that instead of following his heart to be with her, he followed his commitment to the Church as a priest. The moment this took place was on his deathbed – it was too late – and the pain of regret was all over his face.
That day I started to fear regret. I wanted to pursue everything, all my dreams, so I would not have regrets.
When my dad was dying, we ended up talking about all the things we didn’t get to do. How our hopes and dreams had been cut short and the regrets that we had. However, rather than pine over it, we quickly refocused on the memories we carried with us from the things we did get to do. This experience impacted me in a big way. It released me from my fear of regret because I realized that regret robs us of the present moment and the lessons life gives us. Instead, I looked back at my choices with curiosity and began to see how it all led to right now and how I could harness that to live and work better in the future.
I started to un-plan my life.
Instead, I was going to let life appear.
I now think of planning as planting seeds of intention. I note things I want to learn, experience, do, and try, and along the way, I water and cultivate the seeds. Every 10 years, I spend time thinking about what I want my next 10 years to “hold” onto – what I want to focus on and what I would like my life to be like. The kind of work I would like to do and experiences I would like to try. I then keep looking for opportunities to harness the seeds I have planted, and one day I may or may not get to harvest them.
Because of this, around my 50th, I began to ask myself how I could give more people access to learning the tools of self-care to change their relationship with themselves so that it would be more fulfilling. As a result, over the last 10 years, I saw the opportunity to become a keynote speaker, and I went for it. I got to do two TEDx talks, and for the last 6 years speaking has been the core of my career. I also wanted to write a book. And now, as I’m turning 60, my second book just came out.
Since I was a kid, I have wanted to go to Africa. My dad and I were planning for it when I was turning 40, but then he got sick and died from cancer. One of the things I promised him was to still make that trip for both of us. I finally get to do it, and for my 60th birthday, I will be in Africa. Actually, as you are reading this, I’m in Tanzania.
I wish you a meaningful and caring Holiday season. And I hope you will let go of the pressure we so often put on ourselves to achieve something before the year ends. It’s okay to think of life as a process of planting seeds, cultivating them and when the time is right. When they are ready, and we are too, we harvest.
Intention fuels attention.
We don’t have to push so hard when we understand the power of letting our intentions be clear, and with that, we start to work with more mindfulness and discernment, and as we move along in life, we make choices that line up with the direction we want to go.
PAUSE ON THIS:
What are experiences over this past year that surprised you and that you learned something from?
What are new skills you have learned over this past year?
What are new skills you want to learn next year?
What are activities you would like to implement into your life?
What are things you would like to experience and / or work towards?
What are things you want to change?
What relationship do you want to cultivate?
You can continue these thoughts yourself, as these are simply suggestions. If you have specific goals you want to achieve, consider the same questions above and how they will help you achieve them.
For this Holiday, Take a Pause to CARE about what matters to you. I am...
I’m logging off and disconnecting from daily life here and connected with life in Tanzania till the end of the year, and I will see you next year.
Let’s change the future of self care at work together:
Consider buying my book, The Self-Care Mindset®, as a way to rethink how your self-care might support you in the coming year. You might even want to consider buying a copy or two as gifts.
