unlock the power of your mindset
Think Forward with CARE
Mental Health Awareness Month may be over, but your mind still needs you to protect and harness the powerful tool you carry with you every day.
We humans are quite mental—and I say that with deep love and compassion for our minds.
Our ability to think both forward and backward determines whether we resist or create change, whether we get stuck or grow with the flow, and whether we become critics or catalysts of change.
So how do we unlock this power of our mind without getting trapped in the hamster wheel of repetitive thinking and worries that wear us out?
We prize our ability to think, but we often get stuck in what we think, instead of realizing that how we think is the key to unlocking our potential.
As natural problem-solvers, we tend to worry about what's not working and figure out how to fix it. However, if you're a worrier, it can be challenging to move beyond the urgency of problems to seek solutions. We can get stuck in that pothole for too long, letting the critic overshadow the creative. We become trapped in what we think instead of harnessing the power of how we think.
Worry Wears Us Out
While there's plenty to worry about, there's also much to be grateful for. How do we harness our ability to choose what we pay attention to, so we can do what we do best—connect, communicate, and collaborate with curiosity, care, and courage? Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying we choose our thoughts, but rather we choose what we do with our worries.
There's a saying that if we can do something about a problem, don't worry about it—do it. If we cannot do anything about the problem, stop worrying about it.
I'm not suggesting we ignore our worries, but rather use them as information to focus on being the creative problem-solvers we're meant to be.
My Mom Was a Worrier
Once I asked my mom if she was ever happy. "Not very often," she said. Her answer didn't surprise me—my mom was a worrier, while my teenage mindset was full of wonder. I simply couldn't understand why she wasn't more joyful. But she was also a warrior. She took her mental health in stride, stoic, and didn't want to talk about it. Today I wish we had.
Twenty-five years ago, my mom didn't die from her mental health struggles—she died from complications of cancer treatment. Yet this changed my life forever in ways I could never have imagined or planned for. Not just because of the loss, but because I realized we never talked about what she needed. Having hidden her mental health struggles for so long, when she had cancer, she didn't ask for help. The doctors dismissed the symptoms that led to her death and she trusted them, I missed how urgent it was because I didn’t ask how she was feeling.
I learned that day the importance of pausing to listen and ask more questions instead of assuming.
I learned that we need to share our worries to avoid getting stuck in the darkness of our mindset.
I learned that we need each other to wonder about who we are on the inside, past the judgments and fears, past the "not good enoughs" and beyond what we know we're capable of.
My mom carried a deep story about herself: that of being an illegitimate child, a mistake, unwanted. After she died, I talked to my grandmother, who asked if she was responsible for my mom's unhappiness. When I mentioned my mom's difficult childhood as an outcast, my grandmother looked at me in astonishment. "What are you talking about? I loved your mother. I begged to keep her instead of giving her up for adoption, and I wanted to marry her father, but I was too young and your great-grandfather wouldn't let me." My mom grew up with my great-grandfather and never knew her father's identity. Her mother—my grandmother—was sent away to school and could only visit on weekends. As a little girl, my mom felt unworthy of love, and this belief shaped her entire life.
I wonder how my mom's life would have been different if she'd known she was a love child. Would she have felt worthy of care and concern? Would she have told me how she felt and asked for help? Would she have seen how awesome she was and been joyful more often?
Our Minds Can Be Both Friend and Foe
The story about my mom illustrates how our minds can trap us in narratives that shape our entire lives. Just as my mom was caught in a story of being unwanted—a story that wasn't even true—we all can get caught in mental loops that hold us back from experiencing joy, connection, and our full potential.
While we can't always control the thoughts that come to us, we can learn to work with our minds rather than against them. This means acknowledging our worries while not letting them define us, just as my mom was both a worrier and a warrior.
Your Mental Health Always Matters
I ask you to consider that mental health is something we must all care about every day. It's not just about illness—it's about how we function in our daily lives. It's about knowing that we matter, being able to talk about our worries, and supporting each other in wondering about what's possible.
The lesson that has continued to unfold over the past 25 years, and will continue to do so, is that human connection is at the core of thriving. Mental health is not just about addressing crisis points or clinical diagnoses—it's about creating daily practices of connection, curiosity, and compassionate inquiry.
Being human is not a problem to solve; we are an advantage to harness. You are an advantage to unlock and harness.
PAUSE ON THIS: Transforming Worry into Wonder
Our minds are incredible time machines that can reflect on the past and envision the future. However, this power can either trap us in cycles of worry or propel us toward growth and possibility. The key lies in how we use this mental capacity.
When we get caught in repetitive thought patterns, like my mother did with her story of being unwanted, we limit our potential for joy and growth. But we can learn to transform worry into wonder by:
Recognizing our thoughts as tools rather than truths
Using our past experiences as learning opportunities rather than limitations
Embracing curiosity about what could be instead of fixating on what was
Creating connections that allow us to share our worries and transform them into collective wisdom
Remember, your mind is like a compass - while it can point to where you've been, its true power lies in guiding you toward where you want to go. The challenge isn't to eliminate worry but to harness it as information that can fuel our growth and creativity.
See my most recent TEDx: transform fear into confidence with power-pausing 